First of all, who ever unscrewed my car
antenna on Saturday night, I want it back. Do you see me laughing now
that my coveted AM dial has been erased, limiting me to two garbage FM
choices? No. If it gets returned in its proper place, no questions will
these digital/wireless technological advances allowed me to still stay
informed during a busy sports week. Just think if Al Gore hadn’t
invented the internet. I’d spend all week positioning the aluminum
foil-covered bunny ears amid plumes of static. Instead, I took a
two-hour nap and didn’t miss a lick of the Daytona 500. Hallelujah DVR.
during a weekend chock-full of Olympic, NASCAR and men’s basketball
coverage, I found myself perplexed by ten questions meant for a higher
power. Not as in God, but just a reasonable fellow smarter than I.
Five to Ponder
What are the chances
that the ECU ice hockey team is a varsity sport in 10 years?
never say never. However, never might be the closest right answer. The
days of ECU facing Maine in the Frozen Four are somewhere this side of
an eastern North Carolina glacier. I’m on the bandwagon as much as the
next 700 fans that packed Bladez on Ice on Friday, but too many
logistical hurdles loom for the upstart squad beginning with the
director Terry Holland said in an interview with TEC released on Dec. 8
that “since ECU has 19 sports, that means we support more sports than
other C-USA schools and more than many of our competitors from BCS
conferences with much larger budgets.” When asked about
adding an additional sport, Holland added that “unless someone knows
something that I don't know, I believe that until ECU's athletic budget
is comparable to those of schools with 20 or more sports playing
Division I-A football, that ECU will not add a sport.”
be the bearer of bad news. Consider the financial ramifications of an
already drowning financial budget. Supplying equipment, possibly
converting Minges into an ice rink, and adding women’s sports or
contracting another men’s sport to comply with Title IX would be the
tip of the iceberg. I know, bad pun.
sports will be added, why not lacrosse or crew? At least lacrosse with
its increasing popularity would draw more fans than a men’s or women’s
tennis match. Tennis channel watchers, the truth hurts.
As the sectionals
began on Tuesday, are the high school basketball playoffs still
national media drooled over the top ranked Oak Hill Academy’s 88-74
Saturday win over then-No. 2 North College Hill. Both schools may hand
out high school diplomas, but these basketball factories put education
a distant second. The premier high school teams recruit from AAU summer
squads making public high school basketball almost obsolete.
of newspapers being saturated about prep athletes being groomed to make
qualifying scores on the SAT. In this me-first sports world we live in,
how about some team oriented stories from the state playoffs? Less than
10 people probably caught wind of the first round barnburner when a
Washington Pam Pack player sank two free throws with 0.05 seconds left
to edge Nash Central on Tuesday. That’s at least newsworthy.
Call me stupid, but
does anyone know where Andorra, Liechtenstein or Moldova is?
claim myself to be a geographical buff, but I’m no slouch either. I
could name my state capitals by the third grade. But watching the
theatrical waste of millions that was the Olympic opening ceremonies, I
realized I needed to touch up on my map skills. Certainly none of these
countries have a chance to medal, but shouldn’t it be a prerequisite
that American fans have been taught of the country’s existence? By the
way, what is the difference between Slovenia and Slovakia? And NBC
wonders why they can’t garner ratings. Either Americans need to dust
off their globes or the IOC needs to provide more extensive entrance
crazy naming UNC among the Top Ten College Basketball Student Sections?
Letterman and I love top ten lists. I don’t love his, mainly because
that dweeby sunglassed fool always spazzes out. Nevertheless, in order
of the most raucous crowd to the sedate ones SI listed were Duke,
Illinois, Kentucky, Michigan State and Florida in the top five. No
arguments there. Rounding out the top ten was Kansas, Rutgers,
Washington, Gonzaga and UNC. Cue the funny accented cowboy in disbelief
that Pace Picante Sauce was from New York City. Only exchange the New
York City with UNC.
earth has Sam Cassell’s proclaimed “wine and cheese crowd” emerged to
become a top ten-student section? It must be a Stuart Scott conspiracy.
Apparently the writers from Sports Illustrated didn’t go ‘on campus’
very often because this ranking is downright laughable.
about Michigan’s Crisler Arena or Iowa State’s sea of red at Hilton
Coliseum? How can the U.C. Santa Barbara Guacos’ Thunderdome or even
the Pit at New Mexico be omitted? Heck, Clemson, N.C. State, Virginia,
Virginia Tech, and for sure Maryland all have better student
environments than the Tar Heels. Packing a small faction of students on
two risers tucked neatly in one corner doesn’t exactly constitute a
rabid distraction. Apparently SI didn’t have to sit in the Dean Dome
rafters where even Tyler Hansbrough looks like an ant.
Does SMU need to be
spanked again by the NCAA after possibly committing more NCAA
team to ever suffer the Death Penalty from the NCAA could be in trouble
again for committing violations. The only comfort is that this time the
basketball team is in trouble instead of the fledging football team.
According to the Dallas Morning News, the NCAA is investigating whether
men’s head coach Jimmy Tubbs committed an NCAA rules violation by
accepting money from a relative of one of his players. The paper went
on to report that Tubbs is alleged of accepting money to pay for meals
of several players.
SMU athletic director Jim Copeland announced on Feb. 2 that he will
retire at the end of May. In the meantime, Copeland is taking a medical
leave of absence to undergo kidney surgery that will keep from the
office for four to six weeks. He let his colleagues know about his
surgery via e-mail.
the Death Penalty incentive enough to walk the straight and narrow?
Welcome to C-USA. Forgive us if it makes us wonder whether the recent
men’s soccer Final Four team was cheating too.
Would I wet myself if
Bob Knight yelled at me had he filmed his ESPN reality show, Knight
School at ECU?
for myself, my lack of basketball talent would leave me still watching
Knight School at home. But if for some reason, I started throwing
around a flaming ball a la NBA Jam causing me not to miss, I’d bring
another pair of britches just in case. I’d cower like a submissive
When will the SEC
overturn this stupid rule of charging a university $5,000 every time
students rush the court?
question is when the SEC will be good again in basketball. Just think
that if C-USA had this rule, maybe ECU would save money by not having
to pay the yellow coated foot soldiers (Event Staff) to guard Minges
Coliseum like it’s the last stand at the Alamo. What’s next, equipping
them with riot gear in case anyone goes bonkers and shoots an imaginary
Is a California cult
going to perceive the Missouri Valley getting more NCAA tournament bids
than the ACC as some sort of sign?
analysts were just kidding saying that the ACC is down this year. But
having a conference with teams’ mascots that include the Bluejays,
Shockers and Salukis get more tournament bids than the ACC is just
downright embarrassing. I laugh at you ACC.
If 2008’s college
baseball opening date (Feb. 22) was in effect this year, would I still
have froze to death watching ECU baseball in February?
in early February is like curling in mid-May. Playing a spring sport in
mid-winter is silly and vice versa. Just think if the players acted on
an impulse to lick their aluminum bats. What is the chance that their
tongues would be stuck? How awkward would an Adam Witter at-bat be with
his mouth frozen to a bat?
Since Al Davis and
Ricky Williams are both bad at following directions, would an SI
marriage dress spread solve their troubles?
Oakland Raider head coach Art Shell needs a running game.
Williams now needs a place to run. Why not form the perfect marriage?
Ha. Seriously, a Williams/Randy Moss duo would be a delightful
concoction. To complete the triumvirate, what about signing ex-Cowboy
and Jet quarterback Quincy Carter? Talk about a potent offense or at
the very least, one heckuva hotbox in the huddle.