Who Shot T.O.?

by Chris Stansbury

As you might remember, every Friday night the Ewing family barged into our homes with the latest toils from South Fork. In 1979, some 80 million people worldwide tuned in to the hit series Dallas to find out "Who Shot J.R.?" In season two, oil giant J.R. Ewing was shot in the chest by an unknown intruder and left for dead.
This sounds an awful lot like the current soap opera going on in, well, Dallas. This time it’s every night and millions of people are tuning in to hear what Terrell Owens did or didn’t do at Dallas Cowboys training camp.
J.R. was bigger than life. The millionaire, who thought the world should stop and start when he said so.
T.O. thinks he’s bigger than the game of football, his team, his teammates and certainly his coach.
J.R. Ewing pushed people beyond their limits until they broke down, and then when he soaked all he could from them, he moved on.
Owens ruined what could have been a good thing in San Francisco. He even questioned the sexual orientation of quarterback Jeff Garcia. T.O. then moved on to the Philadelphia Eagles and helped them to the Super Bowl. He was splendid on the big stage, as you would imagine, playing injured and shining like a star. The following season, however, he caused utter chaos during training camp, called out QB Donovan McNabb as a wuss, divided the locker room and was eventually suspended for the season by Head Coach Andy Reid.
Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones wanted Terrell Owens and signed him. Head Coach Bill Parcells did not want him at all. T.O. left the second practice of training camp with a sore hamstring. He missed 14 straight practices and returned only to re-injure the hammy. Meanwhile, Parcells has to answer questions daily from reporters wanting to know what’s going on.
By the way, I won the office pool for guessing how long before Owens received his first fine or suspension. J.R. Ewing was shot at the end of season two, we may not have to wait that long for someone to take a shot at T.O. The real question will be...Who pulled the trigger?
The suspect list is a long one. Bill Parcells? A Cowboys teammate? His agent Drew Rosenhaus? Or maybe someone else.
The TV world learned that J.R.’s sister-in-law Kristen shot him in the chest, as revenge.
On October 8, 2006, T.O., watch out!! When you and the Cowboys travel to Philadelphia, those extra shots in the chest may be coming from some of your old Eagles teammates, as revenge of course.

Chris Stansbury